2010 Memories

WOW! It is almost the end of year 2010. Today I was reading one of my friend's blog and it is inspiring me to update my personal blog. I totally forgot about my own blog~~ sorry my blog :p

This time I am going to reflect back my 2010. Once, my friend asked me "how do you think of 2010, now is December.."

well...well.... All of sudden every moment flashed in my mind. What I have done so far..? what things i feel not satisfied? and in the end I can't regret of everything happened in my 2010.. what I can say "each year has different story, different moment and different goal"

This year I have noticed something changed with myself either I'm going mature or less mature :/ haha..

anyway, I realize Who Am I indeed. I am still a shy and reserved girl but this year I could do something that I would have never imagined. I do not have to explain what I did here. I could have lost the "OLD" me. Fortunately, it does not happen.

Thanks to people who I met this year with their totally opposite mind, attitude and behavior. The good thing is I can stand on myself, cause it is morality and psychologically challenging. I can't judge how bad people from their behavior because I know I am not good enough and not my business though. And it is totally wrong if I am comparing myself with others~ Everyone has different world.

"Letting go" lesson~ I saw how hard to let go someone who we love (because he/she leaves you or you have to leave him/her). Tears, angers, hatred, and denial. Forgive is the hardest part and I believe the harder we can forgive this person, the harder we can forget. By the way, it is not only about love issue, also for every relationship we have with family, relatives, and friends.

It is easily to say yeah.. I know. What I know, it is important to protect your own heart and yourself. After all, it is just mind-game where we do not focus much on how suffer and desperate your life cause actually it is not as worst as you think.

I met many people and see how people actually lost in their life, you know you're not alone. And some people who are really confidence with their life path and success. I might be the one who still do not know my future and I am desperately need a stable life. Every night I tell to myself, Ok, D.. what's next? what are you going to do next? a year has gone. My mood was up and down lately. I have finished all things here (just a little more) and I'm ready for the next stage of my life..

I would miss all FUN and relax time in Malaysia (maybe relax is not the right word because I always have something to do, finding something to make me busy or just to kill my time. I'm easily bored actually. However, it is considered as RELAX compare than super busy women at my age).

In the end, again, I'm struggling with myself, "Come on! what do you want?!" ~~!!

Race does or does not matter?

It sounds a big topic, but I just want to share my opinion here..

What is culture shock?

Culture shock is the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown culture such as one may encounter in a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for, or even disgust (moral or aesthetic) with certain aspects of the new or different culture (www.wikipedia.org).

As a foreigner have you ever experienced this?

Personally, staying in Malaysia I do not experience much cultural problems. As Malaysia and Indonesia share similar culture roots. However, we all know that Malaysia has multicultural environment and this has helped me to learn from all interactions and observations with many people from diverse countries, race, religion, etc. It might be not so much "Culture shock" for me and overall of this topic only my opinion.

I should put my words carefully here...What I have noticed is the race discrimination is very obvious in Malaysia either it is personal prejudice or in the workplace. This has made me a little uncomfortable because this topic always comes in the daily conversation, website, newspaper, etc. On the surface, it looks peaceful but if we are going deeper a lot of issues appeared. How they judge a person from skin, from your face feature, from what nationality and keep mentioning what race you are. Why it is so important?

It was pretty annoying because I have an Indian name with Chinese looking. They thought I was Malaysian-Chinese or Indian-Chinese ( =_= )'' because of that I had to explain where I do come from and why I have Indian name instead of Chinese name so many times..

Also, there are Chinese culture, local, Indian culture of organization. For local company there are more Malays and so does Chinese company. In short, people create the organization culture and they would prefer to hire people who share the same attitude and culture. Another thing that heaps of peope complain is customer service manner. It is very rare to see customer service or shop assistants always smile, greet you, or say Thank you. "Customer is not a King".

In my country, we also have this problem and it is a huge country with hundreds ethnic, races, and religion. People are having their own prejudice towards particular ethnic. Foreigners are scared when they see news about ethnic war, bombings and how unsafe my country. But, indeed no matter what race are you, we always say we are from one nationality. We do not emphasize I'm Indonesian-chinese here or she is another Indonesian-....( any race). And the funniest one, a Malaysian-Chinese told me that he did not know there are lots of Indonesian-Chinese in Indonesia. And again, I have to tell them how huge and diverse people that my country has.

In the end, this is just my story. We can not judge or generalize my thought about a country or race. Malays, Chinese, or Indians they are good and expecially in my class everyone is friendly, welcome and very helpful. The thing is how open our mind by not judging people from their skin color, race and religion?

Don't read my face..

Dang! I learned psychology and I fall in love with people's behavior. However, I can resist in how good someone can read my face and emotions. It was surprised me..

And yes, I am like a white paper. A white paper that plain and simple. I will always show what I feel at the moment, a blatant and a straightforward person. Say it first then think. Somehow I feel so stupid because of my words..

And some people are good in manipulating their emotions. I'm not an expert in this. But I wonder why some people choose to hide their emotions? maybe they feel shy to reveal their weakness, or pride matters? Nobody wants look weak and pitiful. how long they can keep a poker face?

Maybe I'm just too sensitive?