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Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Feeling back HOME

This December 2010 is the happiest month because I am at HOME.. the greatest feeling of going back is the feeling of all hassle things at home. My home is not a typical quite family and peaceful environment. We all have loud voice (I'm loud at home only). My parents and my sister are having high volume voice, we like shouting and yelling each other, it is not fun but that's my family type. I always wondering our neighbour might get used to it already and think our family always have arguments. While we tell about A topic it will develop to another D, G.F topic, from the past to present. It's funny somehow when I think of that. And, it is normal for me for not talking whole day. we are not a romantic family with lots of hug and kisses or warmth words. Well, this is not only my family and I think all families in this world would have the same experience. All I can say here is I love my family :D..


Another feeling is when I came to the temple and prayed in Sanskrit and Indonesian. I really love this feeling and how I missed to recite those mantras for ages. It feels fresh and enlightened my mind. I always pray "please always lead and guide me to the right way" because deeply inside, my heart telling me something has changed and I might go to the wrong way.

and oh yeah, I met my long lost friends. We havent met for ages..It was really nice while we were talking and laughing. Love you all my friends and sorry because we have lose contact for a long time and we will lost contact again. However, I believe...
"It does not matter if the person you used to close with or maybe this person has significantly changed and forget about you. Yet, the most important is you will always know and remember the feeling you have shared together. This feeling will never be replaced in your heart." We enjoyed the laughter and happiness and wish it will last and we hope we could forget all misery and sadness events in the past. In the end, all these memories would stay still in our deepest unconscious mind.
I might blame How could he/she change and totally different from the past, but then I realized that I am not the same person as yesterday and so does everyone..


Sunday, December 19, 2010

Smile, how simple it is..

Today, I was inspired by the teaching of an American monk named Vimala Ramsi and I would like to write it back what I've got from the talk. He taught about meditation and how simple it is based on Sutta/ the origin of Buddha's teaching.

Meditation is purely to bring happiness for us thus we always see Buddha with a little smiling expression. We always think that this life is full of pain and suffer. We feel suffer because we have desire and attachment. While we can fulfill our desire we feel suffer like sadness, disappointment and all negative feelings come up. Could you still smile when you feel suffer? Yeah, everybody could.

Smiling every day would bring happiness even though we are in a bad mood. It is part of meditation though. When you aware with your anger or sad feeling you would not take it personally and see it as "it's only..." . You will not fight back or indulge in that feelings but just see it as "Oh, it's anger.." not "I'm MAD!"..... Of course, you have to practice it over time and I believe everyone can do it. It's important to know, hear the truth and when you can just "laugh" to it, you would feel relief and happy. Knowing the truth sometimes makes you deeply painful but then when you can just laugh to it, Why should I bother? It is a good thing!

We could radiate love and kindness by smiling, it shouldnt be reflected by our face but we can smile from our heart. When we see people suffering we CAN'T help to let go their pain, because it is "theirs".. we can not do nothing and we do not have to add more people by sharing pain..(this is the ultimate point for me, because I always think we should be sad in the sad situation or meeting sad people). Well.... we do not have to laugh or crazily smile while facing terribly sad situation but instead of doing that we could radiate our love and kindness, hope that they will be happy in their life and make them smile. Believe it or not, smile expression can stimulate positive signal to our brain and bring out happiness feeling. Plus, it is contagious! when we smile to others they (of course) have to smile back so that we give them one shot happiness ;p..

Overall, keep practicing smile to everybody and spread happiness, love and kindness from our heart. When happiness is an option, why we can not choose it as part of our life, having fun with problems and hurts (this is my words) and in the end you just look back and smile to it.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

2010 Memories

WOW! It is almost the end of year 2010. Today I was reading one of my friend's blog and it is inspiring me to update my personal blog. I totally forgot about my own blog~~ sorry my blog :p

This time I am going to reflect back my 2010. Once, my friend asked me "how do you think of 2010, now is December.."
well...well.... All of sudden every moment flashed in my mind. What I have done so far..? what things i feel not satisfied? and in the end I can't regret of everything happened in my 2010.. what I can say "each year has different story, different moment and different goal"

This year I have noticed something changed with myself either I'm going mature or less mature :/ haha..
anyway, I realize Who Am I indeed. I am still a shy and reserved girl but this year I could do something that I would have never imagined. I do not have to explain what I did here. I could have lost the "OLD" me. Fortunately, it does not happen.

Thanks to people who I met this year with their totally opposite mind, attitude and behavior. The good thing is I can stand on myself, cause it is morality and psychologically challenging. I can't judge how bad people from their behavior because I know I am not good enough and not my business though. And it is totally wrong if I am comparing myself with others~ Everyone has different world.

"Letting go" lesson~ I saw how hard to let go someone who we love (because he/she leaves you or you have to leave him/her). Tears, angers, hatred, and denial. Forgive is the hardest part and I believe the harder we can forgive this person, the harder we can forget. By the way, it is not only about love issue, also for every relationship we have with family, relatives, and friends.
It is easily to say yeah.. I know. What I know, it is important to protect your own heart and yourself. After all, it is just mind-game where we do not focus much on how suffer and desperate your life cause actually it is not as worst as you think.

I met many people and see how people actually lost in their life, you know you're not alone. And some people who are really confidence with their life path and success. I might be the one who still do not know my future and I am desperately need a stable life. Every night I tell to myself, Ok, D.. what's next? what are you going to do next? a year has gone. My mood was up and down lately. I have finished all things here (just a little more) and I'm ready for the next stage of my life..
I would miss all FUN and relax time in Malaysia (maybe relax is not the right word because I always have something to do, finding something to make me busy or just to kill my time. I'm easily bored actually. However, it is considered as RELAX compare than super busy women at my age).

In the end, again, I'm struggling with myself, "Come on! what do you want?!" ~~!!




Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Story of Emotions

"Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feeling lived:
Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love.

One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love.

Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat, " Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you."
"Oh..........Love, I am so sad that I need to be myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love. I will take you." It was an elder.
So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder.

Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"

Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered,
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is"

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This story I copied from a website. I feel touched with this simple story so I'd like to share with all readers here. This story reminds me with the real world where people has forgot about what is Love and caring people we love.
Last but not least, the last favorite sentence:
"Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is"

It makes me really believe that Time can make people value love, respect and grateful with what we have now.

Friday, October 8, 2010

A brief notes

My hobby is one of nerds' hobbies and you may feel I'm so nerd because I enjoy studying :D.. and yeah I absolutely enjoy it. I like facing books but more than that I really love the "class" experience. In these 20 days, I met different people from different country. I'm gonna jot down a note from what we have shared and it is something new for me. It is not about the English lesson I have got sound too academic!) but it is interesting stories I have got.

* My UK teacher pronounced "bus" with "bos" . Then one of my classmates asked her that how to say "bus"? was it "bos" ? I thought I was the only one who was misheard. Later on, my teacher told us that in UK, every 15 KM distance, they speak in different accent! Let's say "cup" it is pronounced 'kap', but every 15 KM you can hear different pronounce, 'kop', 'kup'. And not all accent sound like in the "Harry Potter" .. the best English accent in that movie , according to my teacher is Hermione. She has "Posh" accent it is similar like "high-accent" style in UK.

*No offence about this. Malaysian-chinese loves to have white skin color instead of tan! why? it is silly though, but my friend said that it was because people would misunderstand that person was Malaysian not a chinese if she had "tan" skin color.

* In Iraq, there is no mailing address. Then, how they post goods? It is only through public places where they can get their posts. Also, if we want to find one's address there, just meet in public places. Plus, there is no electric there.

* In Tunisia, there are seven lakes (I don't know the name) and everything is thrown in these lakes (e.g stones) will be floating on the surface of the water. In these lake , there are two water taste which are salty and sweet!

* There are millions of camels in Australia.


Saturday, September 4, 2010

Race does or does not matter?

It sounds a big topic, but I just want to share my opinion here..

What is culture shock?
Culture shock is the anxiety and feelings (of surprise, disorientation, uncertainty, confusion, etc.) felt when people have to operate within a different and unknown culture such as one may encounter in a foreign country. It grows out of the difficulties in assimilating the new culture, causing difficulty in knowing what is appropriate and what is not. This is often combined with a dislike for, or even disgust (moral or aesthetic) with certain aspects of the new or different culture (www.wikipedia.org).

As a foreigner have you ever experienced this?

Personally, staying in Malaysia I do not experience much cultural problems. As Malaysia and Indonesia share similar culture roots. However, we all know that Malaysia has multicultural environment and this has helped me to learn from all interactions and observations with many people from diverse countries, race, religion, etc. It might be not so much "Culture shock" for me and overall of this topic only my opinion.

I should put my words carefully here...What I have noticed is the race discrimination is very obvious in Malaysia either it is personal prejudice or in the workplace. This has made me a little uncomfortable because this topic always comes in the daily conversation, website, newspaper, etc. On the surface, it looks peaceful but if we are going deeper a lot of issues appeared. How they judge a person from skin, from your face feature, from what nationality and keep mentioning what race you are. Why it is so important?
It was pretty annoying because I have an Indian name with Chinese looking. They thought I was Malaysian-Chinese or Indian-Chinese ( =_= )'' because of that I had to explain where I do come from and why I have Indian name instead of Chinese name so many times..
Also, there are Chinese culture, local, Indian culture of organization. For local company there are more Malays and so does Chinese company. In short, people create the organization culture and they would prefer to hire people who share the same attitude and culture. Another thing that heaps of peope complain is customer service manner. It is very rare to see customer service or shop assistants always smile, greet you, or say Thank you. "Customer is not a King".

In my country, we also have this problem and it is a huge country with hundreds ethnic, races, and religion. People are having their own prejudice towards particular ethnic. Foreigners are scared when they see news about ethnic war, bombings and how unsafe my country. But, indeed no matter what race are you, we always say we are from one nationality. We do not emphasize I'm Indonesian-chinese here or she is another Indonesian-....( any race). And the funniest one, a Malaysian-Chinese told me that he did not know there are lots of Indonesian-Chinese in Indonesia. And again, I have to tell them how huge and diverse people that my country has.

In the end, this is just my story. We can not judge or generalize my thought about a country or race. Malays, Chinese, or Indians they are good and expecially in my class everyone is friendly, welcome and very helpful. The thing is how open our mind by not judging people from their skin color, race and religion?











Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A big sister role

Hola! This afternoon I had lunch with my friend. All in sudden I talked about why I like to teach and help people in studying. I have no burden to do that and yeah maybe I just want to help them with my capability in knowledge..

I told her, It might be my role in the house as a big sister I used to help my brother and sister in studying. Suddenly I missed that memories. When I was child, my brother is my best friend in the house and my enemy as well.. I used to help him to borrow his friend's notes or homework, went to his friend's house at night, and wrote in rush. I complained and scolded him how I felt embarrassed because of his laziness..

Then I realized he was just a small kid who might not know what is "study" meaning, very playful, had no worries about grade, and doesn't like to study. and yeah how many people like studying?.. I wish I can be like him never worried about studying!

But then as time went by, my bro has changed and more responsible with his study. He is still lay back one but no worries he knows what he has to do..

A big sister usually has a leadership personality, able to guide and control their bros and sis, take care them, listen and give comment to them. However, in the reality not all big sister has this kind of capability. Many of them like me and my friends who are a big sister always been bullied by our siblings. I can't find the reason maybe our character is not strong and fierce enough..we become the weakest and being burden with the responsibilities to be the best and as a model for our brothers and sisters. The eldest somehow acts as experiment, if we are failed to do well then it the brothers and sisters won't ever do the same, all we get is shame and regret. But if you are the real big sister with a strong character, you can make your siblings unite and care each other. All the best for big sister~ <3

Monday, August 23, 2010

I got lost in Kuala Lumpur

I would start with my first "lost"experience in Kuala Lumpur. That time I was a new student here. The class was over and it was raining. So, my friend and me (both of us are Indonesian) asked a favor from our friend from Korea to drive us back. We were so happy because we thought we could come back to our home soon. We thought he knew the way to go from our college to my place because it is not far , only about 10 mins.

But then, who knows my Korean friend took a wrong way.. just to tell u guys, here in Malaysia only has one way and it mostly Highway road! It is very difficult to find U-turn..

We are three foreigner students lost in highway, my friend kept straight and straight couldn't find the U-turn. We ended up in unfamiliar place, very quite, and far from town. I even couldn't see any buildings or houses. All around were trees and hills. It was raining, cold, and I became hungry! My Korean friend was very very calm. "All roads in Malaysia will always end up to KL, even though we turn or keep straight!" haha It was so funny...however, we still a little bit frightened.

We asked so many people on the road, fortunately my friend and me can speak Indonesian because we only met Malaysian people there. We spent 1 hour to get back. Finally...

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My second experience was yesterday. This experience was still fresh in my memory. It was at night and the same thing it happened because my friend missed the U-turn! and three of us are foreign students too, two from China and me.. First hour, I felt confidence because I have had the experience... and I have been 2 years here so I thought I should have been familiar with some familiar places and knew how to go back..

oh and Oh,,,,, I was wrong. It was terrible than I thought. We almost got to our place, from the signboard it was shown 500 M but then we confused which way we should take. Subsequently, we took the wrong way, couldn't find U-turn, and we took the wrong turn so many times! we passed familiar places and went to unfamiliar places whereas I didn't know where! After 1 hour, I became desperate coz we couldn't find the way back and we were getting far from town...
We asked 3 people in this journey~
first was a Malay man who were standing near the bridge. My friend told me: ask him maybe he wanted to take suicide there! so funny ah,,,
this man has hearing and speech problem. when I asked he kept shouting "ha? ha? " leaned his ear like a small microphone. I didn't understand at all! In summary, we asked the wrong person....

Second person, surprisingly, he studies at same college with us and speaks in Chinese to explain. He said that our place is far and hardly to explain. It was only stick in my short-term memory and then what I had remembered we should take few left turn! Ok then , my friend just kept left and left, big turn and we ended up another place, housing area.

This is the final , I was so desperate and asked Security guards there. They are all Malaysian. So, I spoke in Indonesia again. Lucky, one of them knows well the shortcut. I explained about three times, turn right till up there, see three junction turn left, and you will see traffic light then turn right and ...Ok ok .. I asked him to draw a map. I might confused and forgot what he said! This time, I told myself this the last chance we should go to the right way! Fortunately, my hope became true! We found again Mid Valley Mall (very familiar place) took the right turn and started from there we could go back.

Lesson #1: Never take the wrong way in Kuala Lumpur, It is very hard to find U-turn here. U keep straight then u will end up somewhere!
Lesson #2: Never ask a wrong person
Lesson #3: Always bring drinking water , so thirsty man!
Lesson #4: Stay calm and focus, don't get panicked..
Lesson #5: If you still lost for more than 2 hours,, there are two ways to get back (as my friend said)
- Call taxi and follow him with your car
- Call Police to send you back!

last but not least I would say HAHAHA..fun!

Friday, August 13, 2010

Don't read my face..

Dang! I learned psychology and I fall in love with people's behavior. However, I can resist in how good someone can read my face and emotions. It was surprised me..
And yes, I am like a white paper. A white paper that plain and simple. I will always show what I feel at the moment, a blatant and a straightforward person. Say it first then think. Somehow I feel so stupid because of my words..

And some people are good in manipulating their emotions. I'm not an expert in this. But I wonder why some people choose to hide their emotions? maybe they feel shy to reveal their weakness, or pride matters? Nobody wants look weak and pitiful. how long they can keep a poker face?
Maybe I'm just too sensitive?


Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Money and Love


It's almost the end of my Master degree journey. I asked myself what should I do next? Where I want to go? What I want? Simple questions but it seems very hard to answer.

Some friends asked me: "Why don't you pursue PHD?" ..
>_<>
It is so a BIG thing. I would like to ask my brain first, "can you cope to study PHD?" ...ok it is not thinking but feeling. Maybe my brain can cope but pursuing PHD is something I never want to achieve. It is enough for me studying from kindergarten till now..

So I replied to one of my friends: "Now, I want to find money and love..
" It's sure I still want to learn so many things but more soft skills..

however, who knows what will happen next?
???

Friday, July 2, 2010

Welcoming July..

~The days are long but the years are short~

July! Time flies too fast ? yeah! It feels like few days ago of January.. and now I am at the middle of 2010.Is it just me or you all feel the same? so, what's next ? Time flies and I always feel compete with time. Each day seems boring and same and suddenly it would be no longer September, Oct, Nov, and Dec. We meet same person, go to the same place, do the same things, but remember this time would never return back. One day we might not meet this person again, won't go to that place again and we will miss our past activities we have been through. As same as how I miss my primary school life, secondary school life, high school and college life.

I feel grateful for coming and studying here, it is gonna be 2 years in August. Many thanks for my parents for their support, new friends that I have never thought I would have, all moments we spent and it is sad to think that one day we might apart.

Hopefully, I will see signs that lead me to something in my life. Hehe..yeah I believe in signs, it was like clues in your daily life. It was happened before I decided to studying overseas and I never think to go to Malaysia. However, no regret for this experience.

We have many choices in our life, we can decide what we want but we will never know what will happen in our life, just believe with positive thinking there is always a beautiful thing in our life journey.


Sunday, May 30, 2010

The End of May


Here you go, it might be my last post for this end of month since the latest update was last month?

Today as usual, my morning ritual Open Facebook! haha...n I opened the Tarot things for fun. I wrote a question and the answer was really not answering but I like the result. Here one of them:

Strength

Strength and fortitude. From energy follows thought and action. Power that is respected. Quiet control of oneself and others. Need to bring strength from deep within and continue on in face of adversity. Strength of mind as well as body is needed. Difficult tasks ahead. Focus on all goals at once. Control of all resources at one's disposal. Ability to do what is needed when time is right. Knowing oneself and one's gifts as well as one's weaknesses.

yah..I got some clue about strength. This term always goes around my day recently. "Strength and weaknesses" and those tarot result seems a summary of all I have learned from the book! And It is not for me only, but for you all readers here.

How far we have known ourselves? It is easy to say but hard in practice indeed. We are always not sure about ourselves. We know we have changed from one point to another point but we just never realized.

Knowing oneself. Personally, I know myself but somehow I do denial or make it as an excuse of my behavior. However, now I tend to accept it, no more denial but still I use it as excuse..hehe..

I'm the one with high introvert- shy, quiet, reserved, hardly to get know and to blend with people that I am not close with. But I found my strength here. I might not be sociable as extrovert people but I am not picky in making friends. I seek people who are compatible and comfortable with. It makes sense! I found my strength here. I might have few friend but it always deep relationship. Sharing and listening is part of it and from there I learned a lot about people's life and attitude.

Facts believer. Yes again...I believe in action not words. I must see then I will believe. that's why I am not easy in trusting people's story and again I will ask details for it. I think this is one's principle. It is nothing to do with characteristic or personality that you have.

so, have you started knowing yourselves? All bunches of personality tests, zodiac tests only a facilitator. You can say" it is similar like me", "oh yeah..it's true" but Who knows you best is always YOURSELF.

Spend your personal time to reflect and you will know the key to explore yourself.


Friday, April 30, 2010

What is your religion is not really important

I ‘ve got an email with title “your religion is not important”. In this email , a Brazilian teologist of freedom named Leonardo Boff had dialogue with the Dalai Lama. I like the wise answer from Dalai Lama.

With his interest, he asked Dalai Lama:

“What is the best religion?”

Dalai Lama answered,

“The best religion is the one that gets you closest to God. It is the one that makes you a better person.”

Such a wise answer, Boff asked again:

“What is it that makes me better?”

Dalai Lama responded:

“Whatever that makes you

More compassionate,

More sensible,

More detached,

More loving,

More humanitarian,

More responsible,

More ethical”

“The religion that would do that for you is the best religion”

“I am not interested, my friend, about your religion or if you are religious or not. What really is important to me is your behavior in front of your peers, family, work, community, and in front of the world.”

“Remember, the universe is the echo of our actions and our thoughts.”

“The law of action and reaction is not exclusively for physics. It is also of human relations. If I act with goodness, I will receive goodness. If I act with evil, I will get evil.”

“What our grandparents told us is the pure truth. You will always have what you desire for others. Being happy is not a matter of destiny. It is a matter of options.”

Finally, Dalai Lama said:

“Take care of your Thoughts because they become Words.

Take care of your words because they will become Actions.

Take care of your Actions because they will become Habits.

Take care of your Habits because they will form your Character.

Take care of your Character because it will form your Destiny and your destiny will be your Life

And

“There is no religion higher than the Truth

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Belajar dari kisah anak kecil


Ada cerita bagus neh, mau share n re-post... :)

Seorang anak di China pada 27 Januari 2006 mendapat penghargaan tinggi dari pemerintahnya karena dinyatakan telah melakukan “PERBUATAN LUAR BIASA”. Diantara 9 orang peraih penghargaan itu, ia merupakan satu-satunya kanak-kanak yang terpilih dari 1,4 milyar penduduk China. Yang membuatnya dianggap luar biasa ternyata adalah perhatian dan pengabdian pada ayahnya, senantiasa kerja keras dan pantang menyerah, serta perilaku dan ucapannya yang menimbulkan rasa simpati.

Sejak ia berusia 10 tahun ( tahun 2001 ) anak ini ditinggal pergi oleh ibunya yang sudah tidak tahan lagi hidup bersama suaminya yang sakit keras dan miskin.

Sejak itu Zhang Da, demikian nama anak itu, hidup dengan sang ayah yang tidak bekerja, tidak bisa berjalan dan sakit-sakitan. Ia masih terlalu kecil untuk memikul tanggung jawab yang berat itu, namun ia tetap berjuang.
Ia bersekolah dengan berjalan kaki melewati hutan kecil. Karena tidak sarapan, diperjalanan itu ia makan daun-daun, biji-bijian dan buah-buahan yang ia temui. Kadang ia mencoba memakan sejenis jamur atau rumput, sehingga ia tahu mana yang masih bisa diterima lidahnya dan mana yang tidak. Pulang sekolah, ia bekerja membelah batu-batu besar. Upah sebagai tukang batu digunakan untuk membeli beras dan obat-obatan untuk ayahnya.
Setiap hari ia menggendong ayahnya kekamar mandi, menyeka dan juga memandikan ayahnya. Ia membeli beras dan membuatkan bubur untuk makan ayahnya.

Segala urusan ayahnya lainnya pun ia yang mengerjakannya sendirian. Obat yang mahal dan jauhnya tempat berobat membuat Zhang Da berpikir untuk menemukan cara terbaik untuk mengobati sang ayah. Ia pun belajar tentang obat-obatan melalui sebuah buku bekas yang ia beli. Ia mempelajari bagaimana seorang suster memberikan suntikan. Setelah merasa mampu, ia sendiri yang menyuntik ayahnya.

Ketika acara penganugerahan penghargaan tersebut berlangsung, pembawa acara bertanya apa yang diinginkan Zhang Da ” Apakah uang atau lainnya. Disini ada banyak pejabat, pengusaha, juga ada ratusan juta penonton telivisi, mereka bisa membantu mu!” Namun apa yang dikatakan Zhang Da sungguh mengejutkan siapapun, ia hanya berkata, ” Aku hanya ingin Mama ku kembali!.” (
HIKS..hiks..paling menyentuh di bagian ini)

Kisah di atas bukan saja mengharukan namun juga menimbulkan kekaguman. Seorang anak berusia 10 tahun dapat menjalankan tanggung jawab yang berat selama 5 tahun. Kesulitan hidup telah menempa anak tersebut menjadi sosok anak yang tangguh dan pantang menyerah. Zhang Da boleh dibilang langka karena sangat berbeda dengan anak-anak modern. Saat ini banyak anak yang segala sesuatunya selalu dimudahkan oleh orang tuanya. Karena alasan sayang, orang tua selalu membantu anaknya, meskipun sang anak sudah mampu melakukannya. Ada anak yang sudah sekolah di SD masih disuapi, dan memakai baju pun masih dibantu.


Jadi, apa pesan disini?

Didikan orangtua dan susahnya hidup udah membuat anak menjadi kuat dan tegar ditempa masalah. Seperti bapak n emak gue yang selalu bilang "kamu itu terlalu ho mia hidup" alias hidup kamu itu terlalu beruntung. "Dari kecil-kecil harusnya dilempar tinggal di pulau baru bisa menghargai sesuatu"...
well..well...betul banget!

tapi gue gak pernah dimanjakan oleh bapak n emak gue lohh...kayak mau apa-apa tinggal beli, belanja shopping hura-hura, malas-malasan di rumah pasti langsung ditegor or dimarahin.
liat aja gue bisa ditegur kayak gitu pengen dilempar di pulau haha :D.. gue rasa memang beda orang yang susah hidup dan keenakan hidup. Jadi pengalaman hidup itu ngebikin karakter seseorang.

Alhasil dari hasil didikan emak gue yang cukup keras juga berhasil membuat gue survive buat ngurus diri gue sendiri, belajar untuk menerima sakit hati, dan belajar sabar.
Selalu liat ke bawah dan jangan terus melongak ke atas (bahasa indo gue kacau ni) pada intinya harus puas sama apa yang udah kita milikin. Lalu, satu lagi pepatah yang gue suka "di atas langit masih ada langit" supaya kita gak sombong dan berbuat semena-mena karena merasa kita udah hebat ..

intinya kalau kamu merasakan susahnya hidup disitulah baru kamu menghargai hidup dan otak pun harus kreatif buat menyelesaikan masalah-masalah hidup. Kita harus belajar banyak dari cerita hidup si anak kecil. :)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Smile while you can SMILE


With Smile we spread our happiness for everyone

With smile we make them smile for a second and change his or her mood for a second

With smile we tell me them that "I remember you"

With smile we start to be a friend for a life time

With smile we cheer them up from sadness

With smile we give them HOPE

With smile you forget your burden and hurts

With smile you sure that "I am strong enough"

With smile you keep yourself up

With smile before you sleep " things will be going all right" for that day

With smile you make your face looks younger than your real age


So

Keep smile even though you know you're unhappy today....

Keep smile even though you wanna cry...

Keep smile even though you know can't do it, not because you're stupid or not talented. but you have something more which is your strength...

Keep smile even though people slander you, coz you know you're right...

Keep smile even though they don't like you...

Keep smile even though you look awkward when you smile, u just need practice..

Keep smile for any challenge in your life...

Smile while you can SMILE because it is a gift ^^ but please smile in the right situation.. :D

-Deph-

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Dewasa gak sih?


Gw selalu bertanya-tanya apa sih dewaasa itu? ukuran kedewasaan itu gimana sih? hmm pastinya subjective karena kedewasaan itu susah diukur. Belum liat tes psikologi yg bener-bener diakui n valid ngukur kedewasaan :D..

Jujur, banyak yang bilang gue lambat dewasa alias masi kaya anak-anak :( sebel juga sih dibilang gitu tapi kenyataan emang iya huuuh...
ga tau dari mana mereka ukur gue ga dewasa..

secara wajahkah? baguslah berarti gue masi keliatan muda ;P...
secara tingkah laku? yah mungkin gue terlalu biasa dgn penampilan gue, kurang mature gayanya..

secara pikiran? hmm agak susa krn gue bisa berpikir n ngobrol sama yg lebih muda bukan krn gaya pikir gue sama dgn mereka, tapi gue bisa ngobrol juga kok sama yg lebih tua asal gak terlalu berat bahan obrolannya kadang malah gue rasa gaya pikir gue bisa seimbang dgn orang yg 30 an ..

Menurut gw n dari pengalaman berinteraksi dgn orang-orang, kita bisa liat kedewasaan itu dari:


1. cara bicara - keliatan dari cara bicara kita gak intelek gak sesuai umur~ udah bangkotan ngomongnya masi cengeng ..terus kalo ditanya sesuatu cengengesan, plin plan...

2. egois! siapa sih yang ga pernah egois? hmm kalo orang udah dewasa seharusnya kurangi rasa egois..jangan maksa orang buat nurutin kemauan lu..
kalo orang gak mau ikut lu buat jalan, buat nonton, buat shopping, bantuin lu bikin tugas, bikinin lu makanan-minuman...jangan maksa! (kesannya lagi marah-marah nih gw hehe )
perlu diinget orang lain juga punya kesibukan n urusan sendiri & mungkin lebih penting dari kemauan-kemauan lu. Sebaiknya tanya alasan kenapa sahabat atau temen lu gak mau ikut atau bantuin lu dan cobalah untuk mengerti..
tips :
banyak-banyak empati, put yourself in somebody's shoes.

3. lari dari masalah.
Bisa dibilang kurang tanggung jawab dan cenderung kabur atau menghindar kalo udah gak bisa handle itu masalah. terkadang masalah itu tercipta dari hasil kelakuan kita istilahnya kita yang mencari itu masalah. Misalnya, lu dapet bagian buat tugas kelompok tapi males terus udah hari H semua orang udah tunggu n siap semua, tinggal lu yang cuek-cuek malah lupa lagi kalo ada tugas! (pengalaman pas di kampus), nah jadi masalah kan?
Contoh lain, suami istri ada masalah bukannya cari jalan atau komunikasi baik-baik, malah saling nyalahin dan jelek-jelekin. padahal mungkin masalahnya cuma sepele.
tanggung jawab itu banyak macem tergantung peran apa yang kita punya. tanggung jawab sbg warga negara, sebagai anak, pacar, murid, karyawan , boss, suami, istri n banyak lagi..

tips: tanggung jawab bisa dilatih dari hal-hal kecil. Walopun kita bebas krn secara umur udah gede layaknya orang dewasa n dikasi kebebasan tapi tetep harus tanggung jawab yang berarti harus berani nanggung resiko sendiri. jangan udah ada masalah berat baru lari ke orang tua .. :)(kasian kan orang tua udah tua ditambahin beban lagi).

4. dependen/ gak mandiri (apa-apa gak bisa, apa-apa nanya).

seiring menuju dewasa mendingan pinter-pinter urus diri (hmm gue juga lemah di bagian sini nih hehe...tp sekarang udah lebih mending). makan sendiri, cuci baju sendiri, ya urusan basic gitu deh..heheh...urusan-urusan sepele juga jangan byk mengeluh~ usaha dulu se-maXimum yang lu bisa.
mau jadi mandiri emang agak sulit apalagi soal ambil keputusan. jadi seiring perjalanan menuju kedewasaan, kita harus berani ambil keputusan sendiri dan tau baik n buruk nya atas keputusan kita.

5. Think wise

proses menuju kedewasaan memang tidak mudah. Semakin berumur orang yang menuju dewasa akan berpikir lebih bijak. Bijak secara emosi, bijak secara tindakan dan bijak secara pikiran.

Bijak secara EMOSI berarti bisa mengendalikan emosi kita, gak mudah terpancing sama hal-hal kecil dan kemudian menyakiti hati orang lain terutama orang yang kita sayang.

Bijak secara TINDAKAN, bukan berarti dengan gaya yang gaya orangtua BIJAK hehe...tapi bertindak yang benar dengan perduli dengan kepentingan orang lain dan sayang sama diri sendiri. Misalnya, kita berpikir apa yang bisa kita lakukan buat generasi ke depan dengan hal-hal simpel. Jangan sia-siakan waktu dan masa muda dengan tindakan yang gak berarti.

Bijak secara PIKIRAN, ini gak mudah karena kita harus terus berlatih dan sensitif dengan apa yang terjadi di lingkungan sekitar kita. Melihat apa yang terjadi dan merefleksikan ke diri kita. Saatini berada di titik poin manakah kita? Apa yang ingin kita capai dan bisa kita lakukan? Apa yang bisa kita pelajari dari pengalaman dan apa yang kita lihat? berpikirlah secara positif.


Last but not least, kedewasaan itu bukan sekedar umur tapi dari pola pikir kita~

comments & feedback are welcome.

kalo kepikiran dapet ilham baru update lagi .. :)

cheers!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Alice in Wonderland: Impression and Messages bring in..



I wouldn't say two thumbs up for this movie, but I really fascinated with the effect and unconsciously impressed with this movie..

still think about this movie, many people said it was standard and the flow was predictable, just like typical children movie...that's what adults think!
I think this movie is good and has something to deliver to us as an adult. We as adult just like grown-up Alice who has forgotten her Wonderland. We forgot our childhood moments and fantasy.

as Alice always mentioned of Six impossible things that she always think before breakfast time, it reminds me how is creativity thinking involve in, that's it! by think that you think is impossible that is where imagination, creativity and innovation come. Maybe Tim Burton do this, thus he always come with imaginative and creative movie! So start to think impossible thing to trigger out creativity brain side from now.

second, another simple message from the Bloody Red Hair queen ..(can't stop laugh if I see her face) honestly, we could say she is ugly, mean and annoying. She is totally different form her sister the "White princess". Doesn't mean the ugly one has bad behavior and we should hate them whereas the beautiful one always kind. That reflects human's perception as we always judge a person from his/her appearance. The gist in the two characters here is it is not about appearance but how you treat people with love and kindness~ Followers follow a person/leader who care for them~

can't imagine I can think very deep about this movie haha :D

Friday, March 5, 2010

Arti kematian


Hampir dua tahun saya di Malaysia, jauh dari rumah dan sepanjang itu pula banyak kejadian terjadi termasuk kematian. Saya belajar banyak tentang makna dan arti kematian dan perasaan ditinggalkan.

Dulu, ketika saya masih berusia remaja ada satu kejadian bagaimana saya mempersepsikan kematian. Ketika kami menunggu guru kami yang akan mengajar pelajaran tersebut tidak kunjung tiba, 1 jam lewat berita duka cita datang mengabarkan bahwa beliau meninggal karena kecelakaan dalam perjalanan. Kami syok! pada saat itu juga kami mengheningkan diri dalam suasana berkabung. Beberapa teman saya melelehkan air mata dan suasana sedih seketika. Apa yang saya lakukan? saya melirik-lirik sana sini melihat teman-teman saya. Teman saya bertanya pada saya ketika jam pelajaran istirahat: "Kamu tidak merasa sedih?" (karena saat itu saya masih tersenyum seolah tidak ada yang terjadi). Saya menjawab: "kenapa mesti sedih? sudah meninggal lalu mau bagaimana?". Saya sadar saya berbicara seolah tidak punya perasaan, tapi itu benar adanya yang ada dalam benak saya, kita menangis pun guru saya tidak akan kembali. Apakah itu salah? apakah saya tidak mengerti arti kematian saat itu? kenapa tidak ada sedikit rasa inging menangis? yahh...mungkin saya tidak mengerti.

Waktu berlanjut, saya beranjak masuk SMU dan kuliah. Di masa- masa ini saya merasakan perasaan sedih karena kematian. Beberapa teman saya ditinggalkan oleh papa atau mama mereka untuk selamanya. Pertama kali, saya tidak tahu bagaimana harus bereaksi tapi saya merasakan perih membayangkan jika itu terjadi pada saya dan sedih bagaimana perasaan dan nasib teman saya yang terbilang masih muda. Saya ingin melakukan sesuatu untuk membantu mereka, yang dapat saya lakukan adalah turut berduka cita dan saya benar-benar berharap pada Tuhan dan Buddha untuk membantu dan memberikan ketabahan buat mereka.
Saya merasa bersyukur atas apa yang saya punya saat itu, saya masih punya orangtua. Pada masa ini saya rajin ke rumah duka jika saya mendengar teman saya kehilangan orang yang dikasihinya ataupun siapa saja yang saya kenal, asalkan rumah duka itu masih bisa terjangkau.

Selanjutnya berita kematian yang saya alami selama di Malaysia, tidak terhitung. Tiga bulan pertama di Malaysia, Ako (tante) saya yang tinggal di Malaysia, Johor Bahru meninggal dunia. Sedih sekali karena setiap kali liburan dan ke Malaysia kami pasti ke tempatnya, dan itulah alasan utama ke Malaysia yaitu untuk mengunjunginya. Karena ia tinggal jauh dari negaranya dan tidak pernah kembali setelah berkeluarga. Dia orang yang baik dan tulus, cerita hidupnya begitu menyentuh. Tante saya itu meninggal pertengahan abad. Cukup ironi ketika mendengar saat-saat terakhir sebelum ia meninggal karena sakit. Tidak akan saya bahas disini, mungkin lain kali. Saya langsung ke Johor sendiri. Pertama saya tidak menangis hanya sedih dan saya baru benar-benar menangis ketika melihat orang lain menangis. Kadang saya bertanya pada diri saya sendiri, kenapa susah buat menangis? apakah hati saya begitu dingin?
Kemudian disusul berita papa sahabat saya yang meninggal, saat itu saya langsung menangis setelah mendengar kabarnya. Sedih karena tidak bisa menemani teman saya. Banyak hal berkecamuk di pikiran saya dan saya tahu itu tidak mudah buat teman saya. Selanjutnya, berita-berita kematian orang-orang yang sudah tua, nenek teman saya, kerabat dan teman orang tua saya.

Di tahun 2010 ini, selajutnya berita kematian guru tersayang saya di waktu SD dan nenek saya.

Jadi, apa yang saya pelajari disini?
Sejak begitu banyak peristiwa kematian saya sempat berpikir: Siapkah jika suatu hari saya ditinggalkan? Apakah saya udah melakukan yang terbaik? setidaknya saya tahu saya harus siap jika hal itu terjadi.

Seringkali saya berpikir bagaimana dan apa yang dilakukan setelah mati? kemana mereka pergi?

Dan sepertinya sekarang ini saya mulai mendapat jawaban setelah saya mencari dan membaca perihal kematian menurut agama Buddha. Hal- hal yang tidak mungkin terjelaskan dan hidup sebagai manusia menjelang kematian tidaklah mudah jika kita tidak ingin tersesat di alam lain.

Maka itu sebagai manusia banyak-banyaklah berbuat baik dan belajar bijaksana dalam menyikapi hidup. Ada sebuah kalimat yang sering kita dengar.. Kebahagiaan, makna hidup bukan diukur dari panjangnya usia tapi dari hal berarti yang telah dilakukan selama hidup..

Monday, February 8, 2010

My passport please come back soon...

Arrgh...this is out of topic. but i feel really disturbed by this uncertain thing. my passport hasn't come back and still in the immigration of Malaysia. the problem is I will go back to my home in Jakarta this Saturday . I really want to go home so badly...

really hope that nothing happened with my passport or any problem... please make the process faster :(

i cant concentrate and couldn't sleep well these days because of this, waaaa....really want to solve this problem soon! And want to scold someone (the immigration people) what are they doing?!!! why very slow?

i knew everything in Malaysia is slow and relax, the bus, the fast food, the immigration in the airport.. but please guys think people who are waiting for your service.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Beach, play, and swim


Terempa Island, Kepulauan Riau.
Indonesia

I really miss to go to the beach...

this pic is my parents' hometown in Indonesia. It is surrounded by mountain and sea with splendid scenery.

If you wanna swim just jump from the house, because most houses are built on the sea.
but of course, there are many houses on the land near the mountain too.

I miss swimming in the sea with waves pushing and pulling you. Although the smell would not be nice after that but the feeling is different, it's like your 'soul out' when you jump and dive in the sea.

Wish I can go there again..!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

My 24th birthday

A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

My birthday already passed two weeks ago and am 24 now! still remember that day. Nothing much to do in my birthday and felt so empty. first, maybe because I am far from my family and friends. I used to had a small dinner with my friends and had a cake or tasty food in the house. I knew I refused to celebrate my birthday since I was 17..and started from that age I didn't care about birthday. It just seemed like usual day but I had never been alone in my birthday.

And this year it was totally different. In the morning, I thought of any activities that I could do in my birthday and it was nothing! so, I decided to go to temple and pray. At least, I did something good in my day. After that, I went and walked alone in KLCC, felt so stupid but tried to enjoy it. I thought maybe I would spend that day just by myself. In the end, i felt too lonely, so i asked my close friend to go somewhere and finally I had a dinner with her and her mom and daughter.

Now, I realize I live in denial...
I don't like people celebrate my birthday with a big party or surprise but the meaning of that special day is to share your happiness with people you love and don't just be alone in that day. Trust me!